A carer's story

Ten years ago Jaya Kathrecha's life was dramatically changed when her two sons were diagnosed with depressive illnesses.

Not knowing which way turn for support and struggling to come to terms with her sons' conditions, she found herself slipping into depression herself and became frozen and completely powerless. "As a carer you don't understand what to do or where to go for help and you feel paralysed."

Today, with a wealth of practical experience at her disposal, Jaya is a changed person. Added to this, she has a thorough understanding of today's legislation and how to influence policy makers. This stands her in good stead when meeting service users, other carers, professionals, civil servants and politicians.

Now with four years under her belt, Jaya is one of the longest-serving elected members on SLaM's Member's Council and she also sits on Lambeth's decision-making board for health and social care. She juggles these voluntary posts with being the carer for her two sons, one of whom, aged 29, remains in the family home. His 30-year-old brother now lives independently, but with support.

"My sons are functional with my support. I have pushed along many lines - social, physical and whatever - and I believe that without my support they would be much worse off. I have also managed three community projects, so I understand the many issues people face," she says.

Looking back, she notes: "I saw the many flaws of the system, which wasn't really supporting families, carers and service users. There was also a lack of awareness of mental illness, plus the stigma, discrimination and a lack of access to services and care in Lambeth."

Jaya, who left Mauritius as a teenager in order to study in the UK, comes from a long line of "powerful women". Both her parents were politicians. A self-proclaimed optimist, she is convinced services are steadily improving and welcomes government reforms that have given greater recognition to carers. At the same time, she has witnessed a growing awareness and understanding of mental health issues among members of the public.

"You have to make a stand and say why you're not happy. But I believe that if you want to make changes, you have to be positive and make them from within the system."
As well as pouring her energies into supporting her sons and pressing for better services, Jaya has gained confidence as a public speaker through attending a King's Fund leadership programme. The course fees were met through a community award that Jaya received in recognition of her many voluntary activities.

Jaya enjoyed a stint advising the Department of Health. Here she met several ministers and has even been to Number 10, where she was introduced to Prime Minister Gordon Brown. "There can be a positive side to caring - maybe if I wasn't a carer I wouldn't have done all these things."

She speaks regularly about mental illness to many groups of people, some of whom share her south Asian origins. She is convinced that the stigma associated with mental health issues is even greater among south Asians who were not brought up in the UK.

"I tell people they mustn't be ashamed and that they shouldn't be afraid to say there is mental illness in the family. But I do understand - you lose your friends, your social circle and there's a huge impact on your emotional and physical wellbeing. I know because I have felt the isolation myself."

"The south Asian and other Asian communities wait until things are very, very critical before they ask for help. They don't talk about the problem, they just internalise everything and find it dishonourable to have mental illness in the family."

"But we are living in the 21st century and we all have to move with the times. We have to tell people that help, medication and counselling is available. I say to people: 'There are lots of friends out there. You are never alone."'

Jaya's top tips for carers

• Seek help at an early stage
• Don't be ashamed of mental illness
• Speak out if something is wrong
• Take care of yourself with counselling and exercise
• Keep in touch with your spiritual side